Return Policy
Welcome to Unfortunate Cookies, where the cookies are fresh, the fortunes are questionable, and the emotional aftermath is part of the experience.
By placing an order, you agree to the terms below. We’ve kept things fair, but not unrealistic—because unlike your fortune cookies, we do believe in accountability.
1. All Sales Are (Mostly) Final
Due to the perishable nature of our products, all cookie orders are final once shipped.
We do not accept returns for:
- “I didn’t like the fortune”
- “It was too accurate and I’m uncomfortable now”
- “My friends judged me at the party”
- “I thought it would be less emotionally revealing”
Once a cookie has been baked, packed, and shipped, its fate is sealed—much like your own.
2. Damaged or Incorrect Orders
If your order arrives damaged, incorrect, or missing cookies (a true tragedy), we’ll make it right.
To request a replacement or refund:
- Contact us at (509) 555-6162 or [email protected] within 7 days of delivery
- Include your order number
- Provide photo evidence (yes, even for emotionally damaged cookies)
We will review and may offer:
- Replacement cookies
- Partial refund
- Or, in extreme cases, emotional compensation (we’ll be sarcastic about it, but we’ll still help)
3. “Bad Fortune” Complaints
We are not responsible for the emotional impact of your cookie’s message.
Each fortune is intentionally crafted to be:
- Unfortunate
- Slightly insulting
- Occasionally too real
By opening a cookie, you accept full responsibility for whatever existential crisis follows.
4. Bulk Orders & Events
For bulk orders (weddings, parties, corporate events, etc.), refunds are not available once production begins.
We recommend:
- Warning your guests
- Lowering expectations
- Possibly increasing liability waivers (just kidding… unless?)
5. Refund Processing Time
Approved refunds (rare but possible) will be processed within 5–10 business days back to your original payment method.
We move as fast as regret allows.
6. Contact Us
If something went wrong—or you just need to complain into the void:
Phone: (509) 555-6162
Email: [email protected]
Response time: 1–3 business days (depending on how unfortunate your situation is)